It is really frustrating being 36! You are kind of at that midpoint in life where it almost feels like it is too late to re-invent your life, yet you are still young enough to be stuck for several years in a place or position that you don't want to be in. I like my job, but I can't say I LOVE it, and I grew up with these expectations that I would be all self actualized and have all my shit together by this age. That just isn't so. The only thing that is going to make me really like it is to get a substantial raise after I complete this CSP. I mean, I deserve it right? I have spent about a year working on completing that certification. It was alot of work. I should be paid for my effort and credentials, I do believe. I hope so.
I am starting to wonder what my next project will be once I finish that certification. I have a list of home updates and repairs that I have been neglecting while working on the CSP. Those should get done first. After that, I'm really not sure. That is part of the frustration of being my age. Thirty six feels fucking old! Sometimes I think I want to try to do an engineering degree, but damn, I know it takes like 5 years going to school FULL TIME to get that completed. Because I am a poor man with bills, of course I would have to stay working fulltime to even consider doing that........so that would probably mean that I wouldn't get done with it until age 42 plus something? FUCK!
I am debating on not even posting this cause it just looks like I am whining. Think of it as "thinking out loud."
I guess I just want to know what my next "project" is going to be after the CSP is done.
Maybe my project should be myself. Start a heavy fitness program with weights and cardio, and develop some chisled ab muscles. LOL It could be fun, right?
I think my next project is going to be finding a wife that I can spoil. I will be hitting the bars next week looking for "the one"! hahaha Hey, it can happen!
No comments:
Post a Comment