Haven't posted in awhile

So closes one chapter and opens another in my life.    I am very excited but also scared about the prospect of marriage.  Even before I am married I can see that there will be trend of good days and bad days.  Mostly good.  I guess that is the ebb and flow of life though.     Kelley is a great girl though, so I feel like I have finally picked a girl who is into me, and not what I can give them.   I am not saying all my exes were like that, but yeah, there were a couple. 

So I honestly only have one regret in my life........the fact that I dropped out of engineering school.  If I could change one thing, that would be it.  Looking back, I know I could have done it if I would have just explored my options with actually getting a math and physics tutor and not being so god damned set on trying to maintain a 3.0 average. 

I feel honestly hurt that I didn't get a chance to go back and finish.  All of these dumbass life decisions have prevented that, with the main dumbass decision taking place in 2003.  Now I am almost 37, I just don't see the point in trying to go back to school this late.  Too bad life doesn't allow "do-overs". 

I am a lucky guy though.  I ended up with a great fiance, a great job, good health, and a loving family.  Really that is all you need.  I just have that pain inside knowing that I could of and should have accomplished more.   I have that pain inside that I let God down.  

So while I do feel a heavy heart that I was not able to accomplish more in my life, I will hopefully be able to have a child to whom I might be able to help them reach their dreams.

Advice I will give to my kid:

-No matter how long it will take, never take a break or time off from reaching your true dream.   No matter how hard things get, don't ever settle with a second rate back-up plan.

-Never let anyone talk you into doing something or buying something that just doesn't feel right.

-Study your ass off when you are young so you can keep up with, or stay ahead  of the pack.

-Do not buy a house unless you are married or over 40.

Yes......so even though it is too late for me to accomplish anything,  I will make sure that my child will get all the advice and breaks that I never had.